An actual conversation I had this afternoon with Ellie in the bathroom at Jamba Juice (I was not the one using the bathroom):
Ellie: Mom, for some reason it looks like your butt’s really big.
Me: Um…okay. Thanks for your honesty. *examines backside in the mirror*
E: Mom! Stop looking at your butt!
M: Well, you said it looked big.
E: It’s not that big.
M: Oh, well, that’s better.
E: Besides, why are we even having this conversation about butts?
M: Um, because you started it?
E: Uh, no. Your butt started it. By being big.
I'm definitely doing something right.