This made me laugh for so long, although I don't really know why. I guess because it's like a circus sideshow or something - step right up, and see the amazing Dillards Woman!
When you go to dry yourself off and the towel smells vaguely like the onions you cooked for Tuesday night's dinner, plus a little garlic (and you can't remember the last time you cooked with garlic), it's probably time to change the towels.
The last two days I've felt like selling my kids by bedtime. I'm hoping for a better relationship today.
There is a serious lack of ice cream in my freezer right now.
I have just officially volunteered to be the go-to girl for GS camp next year. What, exactly, was I thinking?
Why do my brother's birthday make me feel older than my own do? He's turning 28 tomorrow and suddenly I feel ancient. (Happy Birthday, Robbie!)
There's a load in the washer and one in the dryer and I find myself once again unmotivated to do more laundry.
You know the song The Cat Came Back? Well, at my house it's The Ants Came Back.
Ellie and her friend are playing school. Apparently I'm the "officer". Ellie told me, "You know, like Miss T!" [she's the secretary at the girls' school] So I guess officer = the one in the office...duh!
I would like to be able to repaint my entire house so I don't have to scrub all the crayon and pencil off the walls.
I have become convinced that baking soda has magical cleaning powers.
Here are the creative ways my 3rd grade Brownies spelled "squirrel" when writing thank you notes to the people who run the camp: squwirl, skirl, sqorol, scwerl, and sqerell. These are the ones who didn't notice that I had written it on the board.
I am so tired of finding Scotch tape in my underwear because it's (the tape - well, and the underwear, but the underwear is supposed to be there) gone through the laundry.
One day the stars will align and my house and all my laundry will be clean and no one will pee their pants, vomit, or spill and entire pitcher of juice. Then I will probably die. But it will be a gloriously happy day.